I remember holding her for the first time. All the wires, the machines, the fear. Even though you're scared, when your strength and hope returns, life is perfect.
You are your baby’s parent. Your baby knows your voice, your smell, and will be comforted by you being there. No one else can take your place.
As tough as it can seem, do what you can to build your relationship with your baby. Read them stories, take part in the care routine, learn how to tube feed, and take part in skin-to-skin.
Our first skin-to-skin experience was amazing, but I was also very nervous because he was so small. The nurses were very reassuring that I wouldn’t be causing him any discomfort or pain.
You can ask your care team when the ‘first time’ for things will be, for example, washing, changing and feeding, so you can be there for important milestones.
Focusing on things I could control really helped me. Eating decent meals, getting some exercise, or writing in my diary gave me a focus and helped me feel I was doing something useful.
The information in this section is due for review November 2025
